It’s Not a Sin to Have Focus

“Graduates should not be picky or choosy in choosing jobs”

Well, being picky or choosy is one thing.
But choosing a niche to pursue, or a specific field to focus, does not equate of being rigid.

I came to this realization when looking upon my graduated friends.
They are doing all kinds of stuff now, while awaiting that very official degree, to job hunt. They sell things, do services, that are not necessarily in line of their investment of years, money, time & energy of learning. But they still do it.

And then there’s me. Still waiting on that degree. While sometimes produce zines, produce content, and sell old books of mine, I try to learn even more about psychology, and deepen my understanding about how career works.

So I felt kinda in short sometimes, that I am not making as much money as my friends. I felt like a bummer that I am not significantly, financially contributing to my family, yet.

But then, I remembered the very first time I said to myself that I wanted to learn psychology in university. I was sixteen, And after that, I try to consume every books, every article, every YouTube videos about psychology possible, every moment I can get my hands. I researched multiple ways on how to get that degree after SPM. I didn’t think about anything else.

When I entered foundation, while others are still struggling to grasp the world after SPM, I without doubt and fear said that I wanted to take psychology. And then, even with my depressive periods come, even with my social anxiety issues, even after learning that not all I knew about psychology was right (like, I totally did not see statistics coming 😅), and even after a senior lecturer telling directly to my face that “you should not take psychology because it’s not real science, thus your years of studying pure science would go to waste”,
I didn’t waver at all.

And trust me, from the first day I actually set foot as a psychology student, until the very last few days when I got the results of my final semester,
I still cannot believe, that every second I spent learning about psychology, is real.
I can’t believe that among all young people, I got lucky that I know what I want.
I can’t believe that among all the young people who are lucky to know what they want, I got lucky that I actually GET what I want.

It totally felt surreal for me.

That’s when I realize; having a focus is not a sin.
Not at all.
Used wisely, it could be among the greatest weapon you could have.

I’ll be honest, I am privileged enough, to not worry about money, that I am able to hone my focus. I am totally aware that not all people get to do that, even if they want to. Like I said, there’s very few people, who do know what they want, DO get what they want.

So THEIR focus would be money, and thus, they use that focus to bring in money in any way that they can.
What I’m reminding to myself is, I don’t have to feel inferior to them. We each have our own struggles, and have unique solutions to said struggles.

And it’s clear to me that I could wait 4 years. And amidst waiting for that, I’ve managed to learn a lot of things that would give me an upper hand.
It worked for me. So no need to worry even further.

Obviously, the pandemic itself do makes things different. I myself, at the moment, am learning on how not to be too rigid either. I am now trying to see in what multiple ways I can build my career amidst this time. Heck, I should tell my sixteen-years-old self to not just have ONE plan & overconfident that it would come true magically (even if it does).

With that being said, still, it’s not wrong to have focus. Just like it’s not wrong for my friends to do multiple things that brings them money at the moment, it’s not wrong for me either to select and deselect among those things, and focus only on a few activities, giving my all in them.

I don’t know if I’m the only one who experience this guilt after graduating 😅 but if you who are reading can relate to my situation, just remember that,
focus is not a sin. It’s a weapon 😎